When your child needs discipline
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. — Proverbs 13:24.
Have you ever felt frustrated over disciplining your child? That sometimes it makes you think you’re not doing a good job in the Parenting Department? That if it were some course in college, you’d flunk miserably? Well, you’re not alone. I sometimes feel it too.
They say if you want to be a good parent, you can’t be too strict nor too permissive. You need to learn how to balance discipline and love. But since you can’t practice being a parent unless you become one, how would you know when you’re pulling the rope too tight or too loose? Children, as they grow, tend to do things on their own without knowing the consequences of their actions. And as parents, we try to protect them from going through unnecessary hurts and frustrations. Hence, the spoiling part comes in (ahhh, I’m so guilty!). Between me and my husband, he is the disciplinarian and I (believe) am the spoiler. Although he can be a spoiler too, he seems to know perfectly where to draw the line and is often good at imposing corrective actions on our four-year-old son. (Yeah, I guess he’s the better parent).
There are many ways to discipline a child. One of them is spanking. While I strongly agree that this may be an effective method, I don’t think it works for every child (especially if it’s done the wrong way). If spanking is too much and is done out of anger and frustration of the parent, the child becomes more violent and hard to control.
When we were just a couple, my husband once told me that spanking is okay as long as it is clearly explained to the child the reason for such kind of discipline and as long as it doesn’t go beyond a mere slap on the butt. If you hit your child on the head or strangle his neck, then it becomes wrong. As parents, we need to know the difference between child abuse and discipline.
I always try to discipline my son by patiently (errr – sometimes I’m not even that patient. LOL) explaining to him why he can’t always get what he wants, but more often than not, my begging just falls on deaf ears. It’s just amazing how kids can be controlling sometimes. *sigh* And because we love them, we often lose our parental authority by giving in to their wishes. (Guilty again! LOL)
I don’t believe in violence, but if you’re gonna ask me if spanking is sometimes necessary to discipline our children, then my answer is yes. But if you can make them follow your rules and control their wrongdoings without spanking, then much better. Remember, strict parenting doesn’t always get positive results.
How about you? How do you discipline your child? What do you do to make him listen to you without spanking? Do you believe in the saying Spare the rod and spoil the child?
Share your thoughts, please! Thank you.